One of the amazing things about modern technology is the blood tests you can get nowadays for testing for Down Syndrome and other similar chromosomal anomalies. Back in the day, amniocentesis was used as default, which is invasive and does come with a risk of miscarriage. Now, there are tests like Materni-T21 that take a small vial of blood from mom and can automatically detect for these issues as early as 11 weeks. Unfortunately, they’re not standard practice for low-risk pregnancies (or for women under 35) so I had to pay the $350 out of pocket for the test. I’m okay with that though – it’s a small price to pay for early peace of mind.
The other fantastic thing about Materni-T21 is that it detects the fetal sex chromosomes. Yep, that means you can find out the sex of your baby as early as 12 weeks after the results come back. When the nurse called me, I was laying in bed taking a nap. She double checked that I wanted to know the sex, and I was an enthusiastic yes. When she said, “Congratulations, you’re having a boy!” I have to be honest — my heart sank just a little bit.
I quickly started to Google about gender disappointment, and it turns out that it’s a very real thing. It’s not that I’m unhappy or disappointed with having a little boy nugget — it’s just that for some reason whenever I pictured having a child, it’s always been a girl in my mind. I never even really acknowledged that fact before, so the wave of emotions I started to feel upon getting the news was surprising and a little bit disappointing. I wanted a baby, right? Not just a girl baby. Any beautiful healthy baby. I called Luke right away and told him, and I think he was shocked too. He also assumed I was having a girl, and his slight preference leaned toward a girl as well.
This is all pretty stupid, because I’m extremely sensitive to gender issues and not making any assumptions about our child’s gender. And of course, I’m keenly aware that just because he’s a little boy, doesn’t mean he’s going to be obsessed with trucks and planes and roughhousing. It’s very important to us that we let him be himself, and if that means he wants to play with Barbies, wear princess dresses, and wear mommy’s makeup I’m okay with all of that. I guess in my head, I was picturing the relationships between the mothers and their daughters in the horse community and how little girls have such an affinity for horses. What if our little boy doesn’t like horses at all, and doesn’t want to ride Rosie or his future little pony? Then again, what if our daughter didn’t either? These are all very real possibilities. I know that I’m not having a child so that he will enjoy everything I like — he will be a little individual of his own personality and likes and dislikes.
I read a number of articles online about having a boy, and most of them emphasized the warm and fuzzy relationship that sons often have with mothers. This is all very interesting to me, because I’m an only child with no experience with boys. Luke’s experience with boys has been with all of his mean older brothers, and so his thoughts are tainted by that. But after reading all these articles, I’m now excited and embracing the idea of raising a good, sensitive boy. It took a few days, but all of my disappointment has gone and I’m now thinking about how exciting it will be to have a little man. The baby clothes are super cute for boys too (though limited in selection at lots of stores…grr).
I’m a week away from saying goodbye to my first trimester and welcoming the second, which is supposed to be the best. I’m looking forward to this, because I’ve been waiting on buying anything until the second trimester. We have a nursery to plan and decorate, and tons of baby supplies to buy. I’m super stoked about this! And I’m no longer even remotely disappointed about having a boy — I’m just looking forward to meeting him in 6 months. 🙂---------------
If you're enjoying my blog, would you consider following me on Bloglovin?