Warning: this isn’t a super positive post. I’m not looking for reassurance or validation either, just need a vent.
So there’s this creature inside me, and I’m sure he’s adorable and wonderful and snuggly and totally ‘perfect’. Unfortunately, he’s causing me all sorts of grief about my body.
On a day-to-day basis, I feel ‘okay’. I’m sluggish and tired, eating like absolute crap, and have no energy to do even a single bit of exercise. But I don’t necessarily feel gigantic unless I’m looking at pictures. But there’s really no way around this — I’ve gained over 40 pounds. Sure, some of it is my gut — but a lot of it (most?) isn’t. My face is blown up, my arms have lost all muscle tone and are gigantic. My feet are sore from carrying around extra weight (I know this because, well, I’ve been almost this heavy before and my feet were sore then too), and I just don’t feel like myself.
I was pretty active before this – hiking on the weekends, riding my pony, going to boot camp/spinning/working out 3-5 times a week. And then when we started trying to get pregnant, I stopped it all and basically have let myself slide into something I’m wholly uncomfortable with. I’m so addicted to sugar it isn’t even close to funny. I walked to the corner store today, half a block away, and it was ROUGH. Sure, some of it is pregnancy woes (like sciatic pain, sore hips) but other parts of it just made me feel so out of shape.
I’m hardly even entertaining the idea of cooking, so we’re basically eating to-go food every night from various high calorie places. My husband’s weight has taken a toll too, so I’m basically bringing us both down at this point. I keep saying that once baby is born, I’m going back to my old lifestyle. But on the other hand, I’m freaking myself out at the idea that maybe it’s going to be too hard for me to be my old self again. What if I lost that person?
So over the next 2 1/2 months until baby gets here, I need to shape up my act. I have to reduce (cut out entirely?) my sugar intake and stop with this horrible cycle of being unhealthy. I’m putting utter crap into my body and not fueling baby’s growth with healthy nutrients. I can’t let this continue, or I will make my life incredibly difficult after he’s born.
+ going to have my morning chai latte and then no more sugar products
+ going to go for one daily walk, a decent distance
+ going to make sure I’m visiting my horse every weekend, even though I can’t ride her.
+ going to track my food to see WHAT I’m eating every day to make sure it’s a variety of fruits, veggies and protein. (myfitnesspal again)
I need to figure out how to track this and make sure it’s happening. Because I can’t expect that once our baby is born I’ll just switch back into hyperactive mode. This shit has to start now.---------------
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